Sounds like life to me...

I would first like to state that the song I titled this post (by Darryl Worley) after is AMAZING and sums up how life has been going for me. Secondly...prepare for a book haha.
Things have been a whirlwind of ups and downs since I started this blog...although recently thank goodness it's been more ups than downs. Every day I am surprised by how extremely happy I am...this doesn't mean I don't have my down days, and as spring/summer is upon us more and more memories of Pops surface and pull me down. I am so happy that he is no longer in pain and suffering as much as he was, but that doesn't make it any easier for those left behind...in fact I think as time goes on it's actually getting a little harder, as everyone else has moved on with their lives, but we are left with a gaping hole that can't be filled. Although I witnessed it happen and know that he's gone, it's finally starting to sink in that he's never going to be in that house again and it's so hard to go over there and be there and not completely break down..the house just seems so empty now. I remember waking up pretty much everytime I stayed over there to the sound of him singing, MawMaw shushing him, and him just singing louder. I've also recently hit the anger stage of grief which upsets me even more because I get so furious that this would happen, but yet Pops never once complained or asked Why...but I do...it's so unfair (yes I know life isn't fair, let me vent) that someone with so much life left in them and the desire and will to live (up until a couple of weeks before he died, when he started having trouble moving on his own, all he talked about was what he was going to do when he got better) would have his life cut short, when there are so many out there that don't even care to live...it just pisses me off, then I get upset because I know he wouldn't want that, and well it's a vicious cycle....Ok, ok I know I said more ups than downs, I didn't mean to start rambling, but I'm good now haha.
Something that is becoming more and more prevalent to me is how things happen for a reason...there are so many things going on in my life right now that would have never been possible without several events (most of the unfavorable) at the time...I would have never have been able to be with my family so much, I would not have been able to be so active in the most wonderful, exciting, and probably stressful time in my best friend's life...I never would have started the Accounting Degree I'm working on (which I LOVE, I know I'm weird)...and just so many other things. There is so much happening in my life in the next month and a half, I'm starting to find it hard to keep it all straight (and planned) and for those that know me well, know I struggle with this, but it's all exciting stuff so I'm trying to just keep track of what I can :-) and try not to worry too much about it. Speaking of planning...no I'm not at all where I planned to be in my life plan, but I just really don't care, I'm right where I need to be, and am happy. One major thing is that I will not be walking in graduation at Meredith in May. This was my decision and although it was made based on something that is no longer valid, I am still glad I made that decision. I knew and had for the most part accepted that Pops was not going to see me graduate no matter if he made it till May or not...the problem was that if he had held on until May, which did not seem out of the question when I made the decision...MawMaw would not have been at my graduation. Pops didn't want her to leave him and she wouldn't have. Her not being there would have been like one of my parents not being there...she's helped me out so much along the way, and after all she's the one that taught me to read. When Pops passed away the Registrar tried to get me into the May ceremony, but it was too late...so I will be walking in graduation next May (2010). For some people, and even myself a few years ago...not actually walking across the stage receiving my degree until six years after I finished high school is somewhat unacceptable, but I don't care anymore...the point is that I am receiving it and that all who I care about will be able to be there...plus I'll be walking with my lil sis class, and hopefully the amphitheatre will be pretty once again after all the construction is done next to it. There's a class that I really want to take next semester so I might even do that...I love commuting, as long as gas prices don't rise...it's time for me to think, listen to music, and lately to choreograph in my head.
Ahhh on to the subject of Emerald Pointe...never did I think I would actually be back working there...but I am so thankful to have it in these hard times, and right now I love what I'm doing. I am planning to stay for the summer, because I think it would be jerk-ish to work all pre-season and leave when I'm really needed. I'm actually kinda excited to be working there (although I was told tonight I always get excited...in my defense that's when I was ready to come home and get away from school :-P), and I feel like I've actually had a little bit of involvement with what's going on...and once the season starts I'll be making more than I would starting pretty much anywhere else. I just need to get some debt paid off, and get myself back into good, stable financial shape...and figure out what I want to do come September, and where I want to be. My grandmother keeps pressuring me to buy a house because of all the incentives plus that $8000 tax credit...and I would LOVE to, right now mortgage payments are less than most rent payments, but I have no idea where I'm going to live. I would preferably stay in the Greensboro area...but who knows what's in store...I've learned that lesson MANY MANY times recently.
So after all this rambling, I'm sure I left many things out that I wanted to share, but oh well, it's time for bed :-).

I'm terrible...

So I promised that last blog by the end of last week, but I'm so terrible it hasn't been done yet and I'm afraid it won't be this week either haha sorry Melissa! This week has been/is filled with Ashley's wedding shower preparations and then the actual shower on Saturday. I'm so excited and things are coming together nicely. Next week things should be calmer so I will have more time to write about what's been on my mind lately :-)

Four months later...

So I've been absolutely terrible at this blog thing seeing as I haven't posted since my first one, but I promise I will get better for the one person that I know might read this haha! Things in the past few months have been crazy. I have the most amazing experience to share that has taken place over the past couple of days but that will have to wait as those days have also been very sleep-deprived and exhausting (emotionally and physically), but I promise the story by the end of the week! I hope everyone in the area is enjoying the snow and the resulting events (aka NO school).

Election Day

So I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now for a few reasons (regardless if anyone reads it or not). 1) I love reading others' blogs. 2) I am much better at expressing myself through written words than verbal communication, and am looking for this to be an outlet for thoughts and probably random ramblings. 3) It is something fun to do in lieu of school work ;-). So what better day to start than on this day that will surely go down in history...and I needed something to do while waiting for the results.

Let me first start with a disclaimer...I do NOT wish to receive any kind of partisan feedback on this post (although I do respect your right to your opinion), nor do I want this to become a fight of the candidates, there has been enough of that and I'm a little tired of it. I am not for either candidate, although I did vote...my choice has been made and so has everyone else's so please no more campaigning, :-).

As I reflect (something those that know me know I LOVE to do haha) back on this election, my decision I made when I voted, and the time since I voted I just have some thoughts to share (mainly concerns with BOTH parties and candidates, so I'm not picking on anyone here). First let's start with the parties. I am not really for the concept of having parties because of the division it causes, yes it's good to have different perspectives and views in the government but I think the bi-partisanism (is that even a word) has gotten way out of hand...it's become not about working together to provide the best government for the people, it's about who can win or who's better. And let's face it there have been great men and women in office from both parties.

Now on to the candidates (and none of this has to do with the issues), like I mentioned before I am not really a fan of either candidate but I did vote for one of them because I felt like voting for a third party was a waste of a vote. This election will no doubt make history books, because when all is said and done we will either have the first African-American president or the first female vice president. Something that has become increasingly concerning to me especially over the last few weeks are Obama's almost celebrity status (and not just being popular). Never have I seen so many t-shirts, buttons, hats and other paraphernalia, not even at a music concert. That is a little disheartening to me because sometimes I feel like people are bordering on obsession with him and not really paying attention to what he is saying. Also the many references to him as being smooth or a smooth talker, that is the last thing this country needs, do people really listen to what he says or just hold on the the words "hope" and "change" and everything else he says that gives them warm, fuzzy feelings. I must admit I got suckered in like that and now that I realize it, it scares me. How many people are voting under the same influence I was? (An example of this is currently the only age group that Obama has the lead is 18-29 year olds, which is the most impressionable age group, hmmmm....not surprising.) I don't want a president that can always say the right thing to win people over or has cult-like appeal to some. Also something that bothers me is that I read somewhere that a record number of African-Americans are voting/voted this election and I can't help but think that might have something to do with having an African-American candidate regardless of what he stands for (I may be wrong about this though), and I don't really think that is fair. Now to squash any thoughts of me and my more conservative, Republican-ish self, being just that, I guess I should disclose that I did indeed vote for Obama, I'm not ecstatic about it but I did, and unless he wins by one vote (which doesn't look likely) I might be able to let myself off the hook.

I guess what I'm really trying to say with all this is that I hope America makes the right decision regarding this election, whatever that may be...and I'm not one to say what that is because NO ONE knows, NO ONE knows exactly what is going to happen for sure within the next four years and I do hope that if he is elected Obama does what he has been preaching and does not run this country further into the ground...the same goes for McCain, I'm not counting him out this early in the results. I just "hope" that this country's thirst for "change" is represented in how they voted and not just in which candidate was using those words as campaign slogans, because in the end they are both politicians and politicians rarely accomplish what they say they are going to do, and yes they have their own special way of stretching the truth! The whole tone of this election has just made me really wary, especially with where our country is right now...